It's Here

At first the feeling is hard to identify.
Something has shifted.
Something is different.
It's hard to mark the actual moment it happens...
But for me it has happened today:
Fall is here.

There's that slight chill in the air, a few brown leaves and I've had the urge to buy apple butter twice in the past week. As someone who grew up on the east coast, it's hard to tell when fall comes around here. The landscape doesn't go through the same kind of dramatic transformation, the weather hardly changes and since I'm between college and [hopefully] grad school, there's no new semester to mark the end of summer. Life goes on as usual, work continues as always and time passes.

Yet, there is something happening, I can feel it. Maybe it's just some kind of internal clock or the result of having the same schedule for so many years but once again it's time for a change. It won't be new notebooks and pencils or a new schedule, it won't involve preparations for a cold snowy winter and it won't even mean new fall clothes, (I'm way to broke for that)... But something will change! There is a sense of possibility.

Fall is marked, in a way, by death. All of my fiery summer energy will shift. Pieces of me may shrivel and drop and then I'll sit bare and quiet for the winter. I will meditate, read, write and wait. I am not a patient person by nature but there's always a chance to change and maybe, just maybe I can change a little with the season.

I'm ready for something new,
so here I go,
I'm stepping up to the edge of summer,
closing my eyes,
taking a deep breath in
and letting myself fall...