Today (in most ways) is like any other day in my work week. There was a meeting this morning, a few text messages between myself and my roommate, some online chatting with the other 9-5ers, coffee, coffee, coffee... and this heat!
This heat is getting to my head. Despite the fact that I grew up in humid Virginia, ever since I've lived here I've become a weather wimp. I'm spoiled by our great weather so this past week, (in this heat) I find myself melting and my mind drifting! Dizzy, fuzzy and overwhelmed by boredom and lack of sleep my mind starts its usual mischief; I start daydreaming, fantasizing, staring out the window, pondering my existence, worrying about things, laughing to myself, and then the impulsiveness starts to kick in: How can I do something to affect my state of being? Who can I call? Who can I text? Why didn't that guy ever call me back? What should my next tattoo be? When should I start thinking about moving again? And on and on...
Just when I think I'll be stuck in this rut all day something out of the ordinary happens! A little message in my inbox! Yay! I got it! I have an audition. And my whole body snaps out of the funk, just like that. I have something to work towards now. I have less than a week to get my shit together, brush up my pieces, print out some headshots and resumes, and prepare for my little show. Because that's how I look at auditions these days. It's a chance to perform. A chance to say something and a chance to do a one person show for an intimate audience where the pressure is on but ultimately the outcome is out of my control. It's a chance to do what I love for five minutes. A rush. And I remember who I am again. Everything else momentarily fades into the background and this little project takes center stage. I have an audition, and right now, that's all that I want to think about.
Not Dead. Not Alive. Just Gone.
5 hours ago